So this may be dark...

So those who know me know that I've been looking for work for about a year now hard (over a year lightly) without really any success.  Let's just say not having one kinda does this wonderful job of actually making someone really pissy/upset.  With my money left I probably have only a couple of months left before I can't even afford gas to either see my boyfriend, do my horseback riding, or hell even go on a stupid job interview.

Moving on.  So I got some stupid brain stuff (but really who doesn't these days).  And the stupid job thing has pretty much just been pushing on that but it really isn't the worst of the stuff.  You know that feeling of being around people and what not but feeling completely alone?  I've had that going on since I've pretty much been a kid.  I mean if I was to think truly I'd probably only see one person in my life (two if you count Mr. Woodsmith) as an actual true friend and we were 12 or 13 when we met.  But it started getting more pronounced in more recent years.  So I'm somewhat of a raver and well let's just say that I don't really trust many people in that scene of actually being friends.  Hell the closet friend I'd say I have from that group lives in California now.  So through Woodsmith I got into the ren faire/pirate fest scene and have met a good number of people there who I'm friendly with.  At least I guess so.  That whole thing of feeling alone has come back.  In reality I don't have any idea who if any of them are really friends of mine and who would completely leave if anything was to change.

I guess I might find out if I decide to stick around if this job stuff never works out.